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Issue Two
"Angel and the Ape -- Part Two: A Sympathetic Ear"
By Travis Hiltz
"Okay, let me see if I understand this..." the Police Detective said.
"We have told you three times already," Angel O' Day replied through gritted teeth." We, the good guys , come back to our office to find them, the bad guys, robbing us. Like good citizens we protected yourselves, they made a break for it..."
"There were shots reported fired."
"...and their accomplice, in the car, in the alley, shoots at us. At which point you guys show up and my partner and I get to play twenty questions."
"And we'll play forty questions till I get some answers," was the reply." I don't have a lot of tolerance for you freelance types, and this place's awfully busy for having no clients. So, what were they? Disgruntled funny book fans?"
"We have a client," Angel replied, tersely." but we hadn't done more than some preliminary work when all this happened."
'Lt.?" A uniformed officer interrupted." We got a description of the car from some guy downstairs. Matches what Miss O' Day said."
"Happy now?" Angel asked.
"We'll check into it," The detective replied gruffly." But, I've got my eye on you, O'Day."
"You must have them lined up to hear sweet talk like that, Lt." Angel replied.
" We'll do an inventory and let you know if anything was taken."
The police filed out.
"Well, I guess I need to get on the phone to our insurance people," she muttered." Again. Then find something to take care of that window."
Sam, who had been quietly going though his desk checking for anything missing or damaged, walked over and grabbed his coat.
"Can you handle this if I take care of a couple of errands?" he asked." Just some quick odds and ends. I'll get some plastic or plywood for that window on my way back."
"Um...," Was as far as Angel got before he was gone.
She peered at the door, in thought, for several minutes.
Then some pigeons swooped in the broken window to scavenge the remains of Sam's banana muffin.
"Scat!" she snapped, swatting at them.
A nondescript building in the financial district...
Sam walked through the lobby, hands in his pocket, brow wrinkled.
In the elevator, he took a plastic card out and slid it into a panel by the door.
A panel opened, revealing a button marked '1 1/2'. Sam pushed it and the elevator started to move.
Sideways.
The door opened and Sam stepped out into a small reception area.
"Can I help you, sir?" The chimp at the desk asked.
It wore a headset and was busy typing at a keyboard. A coffee mug next to the computer read, 'King Kong was pushed.'
"Is the director in?" Sam asked.
"Just finishing a conference," The Chimp replied." If you'd like to wait in his office?"
"That'd be fine," Sam nodded and headed down the corridor.
The Bureau of Advanced Animals ( B.A.A.) was formed by the United States government sometime in the past decade to deal with the increasing number of super intelligent animals appearing on the planet.
It had the distinction of being the only government agency staffed nearly entirely by animals and, even more bizarre, that stayed on budget.
The director's office contained a desk, plush sofa, a large potted banana tree and a tire swing.
Sam helped himself to a banana and settled on the sofa.
He had only a short time to brood before the door swung open.
"Sam, good to see you again."
The director of one of the government's best kept secrets wore a sleeveless vest, more so he'd have something to clip his name badge to than for any human feelings of fashion or modesty.
"Hi, Bobo, glad I caught you in town," Sam said." I need to get some information."
"Never a social call," Bobo mused, as he snagged a banana and ambled over to his desk." What can I do for you?"
"Angel and I are on a case. An odd one, and several things seem to be pointing towards ape involvement. Yet, I can't see why or even how."
"Such as?"
Sam explained about the Techno-Babel case and the break-in.
"The hair strands are interesting on their own, but when we were checking the damage to our office, I found this."
Sam reached into his coat pocket and took out a glass sphere.
It was the size of a softball and set in a black plastic base. The glass was milky colored, with a large crack down its side.
"What...?" Bobo muttered, leaning forward.
"It's a communicator," Sam explained, placing it on the desk." Given to me by King Solavar of Gorilla city."
Gorilla city, the hidden city of super intelligent apes. A place known to only a handful of people on the planet. Several members of the Justice League of America, the staff of B.A.A. and Sam.
"Now, the fact that it was damaged during the robbery might be coincidence...," Sam said.
"But, finding the ape hair, then having your only means of communicating with Gorilla city busted soon after," Bobo continued." Stinks like a baboon's rump. Don't let the accounting staff know I said that. So, what do you want from me?"
"Information. I may be reaching here, but it seems to point to..."
"Grodd." Bobo finished.
Sam nodded, uneasily.
"Well, let me ease your fears on that one," Bobo said, tapping at his computer." Grodd got his megalomaniac butt kicked several months back and has been safe and snug in a Gorilla City prison cell ever since."
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"Something to do with a radioactive meteor that crashed in Africa. Several of my people worked with Green Lantern and the Flash to stop him. Grodd's in prison, the meteor is in a vault and all of Grodd's followers are either in adjoining cells or have fled into the jungle. If there are apes involved in this they are the garden variety kind. The sort that pass the time saying 'ook' a lot and scratching their butts."
"No way to talk about our less fortunate cousins," Sam chided." Thanks for the info. Guess I'll have to try a different track."
"What does your partner think of all this?" Bobo asked, looking up from the computer.
"Angel is a wee bit 'evil villain and talking aped' out," Sam replied, nibbling on his banana.
"You two having trouble?"
"No, not like that. I'm the only weird thing in her life that Angel tolerates. She's just getting normalcy withdrawal. Before this little dry spell, we dealt with a lot of odd cases and Angel got burnt out on it. I'm giving her some space before I dump this in her lap."
"Well, I can run Techno-Babel through our database and see what we find out."
"'Preciate it, Bobo," Sam said, standing up." You find anything call the office."
"Sure you need to head out so soon?" Bobo asked, concern showing on his simian features." Doreen in research has been asking about you."
"You know what my mom would say if she found out I was dating an orangutan?" Sam replied." She still refers to Angel as 'that homo-sapien'. See you later."
Bobo nodded and slumped back in his chair. He was worried about Sam. The big ape was not acting like his usual cheerful self and something about his story was making the little monkey deep down inside Bobo jump up and rattle the bars of his cage.
"This requires some serious thought," Bobo muttered. He then canceled the rest of his appointments for the day and climbed onto his tire swing.
Russell 'the reporter' Deacon lay back in his hospital bed and smiled.
"A friendly face at last," He smirked.
Angel gave him an attempt at a smile and sank into the chair next to Russell's bed.
"What's up?" Russell asked." You look as wiped out as I feel. Hard day at the office, dear?"
"Truer then you know." Angel replied, peeling off her jacket." We got a case..."
"Really? Great. Isn't it?"
"I'm not so sure," Angel said, as she launched into the details.
"Busy day," Russell replied when she had finished.
"Tell me about it. This case is turning into trouble..."
"More trouble then it's worth?"
"Not yet, but give it five minutes. Sam is acting strange..."
"Which is a stretch for a guy who can draw with his feet." Russell pointed out.
"Stranger, then," Angel said quickly. Russell was one of the people who saw Sam as an odd looking man, and his reporter's instinct had him trying to figure it out. Angel did what she could to distract him." We've been following different leads and I think Sam knows something about this case. I'm not sure if he's doing it just to protect me or if this whole mess is worse then I imagined."
"That would be a stretch," Russell said." You are pretty cynical."
"Why do I talk to you?" Angel asked.
"My rugged good looks?"
"Must be."
"So what's bugging you about this case?"
"This for one," Angel said, handing him a manila folder.
Russell pulled out several sheets of paper.
"What am I looking for?"
"The yellow sheet. It's the list of stolen items."
Russell read, his forehead wrinkled in thought.
"Somebody went through a lot trouble for this stuff?" He asked." You can get most of it from any industrial supply company."
"I know, I've been checking. The main 'suspects' aren't much to go on either. Osland is a bit weaselly, but nothing I can pin on him. Butler and Phillips are your basic out-of-college engineering types..."
"Geeks."
"Pretty much, yeah. None of this makes sense. Maybe I should be listening to Sam."
"Maybe. How come you aren't?"
"Are you playing amateur therapist with me?" Angel asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"A little, I suppose," Russell shrugged." You and Sam are pretty close, it just sounds like there's some friction happening. That doesn't sound like you guys."
'No I guess not. It's just all this weird junk happening, and when cases get weird, Sam always seems to be...better at them. I start to feel less a partner than a sidekick, I guess. I should just..."
""Tell it to Sam," Russell said, leaning back." Not me."
"Smart and good looking," Angel smirked." If you could cook, you'd be perfect."
"I live a block from a great Chinese take-out place," Russell replied." Does that count?"
"Close enough. Thanks for listening,"
"Not a problem. I'm out of commission for a couple more days, but if you talk to Hartin at the city desk, you might be able to check out some of these Techno guys. Where're you going?"
I 've got to get back to work and you need your rest."
"How come?"
'So, you'll be able to survive the reward for being so tolerant of my rants . Talk to you later."
'Um...yeah. Bye." Russell said.
Angel's next stop was back to Techno-Babel.
She knew one of the guards from back when he was a beat cop and was able to get some more details on Techno's security set up.
Then she went back to the lab where the robbery occurred.
"Ah, Sam Spade's little sister," A voice said, as Angel stood on a stool to reach one of the cameras, checking for signs of tampering.
"Hello, Mr. Osland," She muttered, not bothering to turn around and face the head technician, though she could feel his gaze running up and down her legs.
"When exactly will you be getting us all together so you can announce that you've solved the crime?"
"You read too much Agatha Christie, Mr. Osland," She replied, stepping down from the stool. Not entirely sure if she was annoyed or relieved that he didn't come over to help her down. She straightened her skirt and glanced around the room." I usually just beat a confession out of my prime suspect once I get him alone at the crime scene."
"Ah, well," Osland said, looking around the room nervously." I have a... meeting to attend. I'll leave you to your investigations."
"Jerk," Angel breathed at the tech's departing back.
Butler, a thin man with glasses and sandy hair, nodded to Osland as they passed each other in the doorway.
"Oh, hello, Miss O'Day," He muttered.
"Hi. I'll just be a minute here."
"No...no problem,"
Butler was a nervous type. Angel hadn't decided if that was due to guilt or the fact that he'd never had this much social interaction with a woman before.
He struck Angel as the type that owned video copies of every Star Trek episode ever made.
"Mr. Nilli mentioned a second key to this room," Angel said." Do you know who I would talk to about that?"
"Well..., I believe either maintenance or the security desk. Is it true that the robbery was an inside job?"
'It's one theory my partner and I are looking into," Angel shrugged." Though the security cameras don't seem to be tampered with."
She strolled around the work bench, opening drawers and glancing about. Butler tried to appear casual as he went to his work station, but he wasn't very convincing.
The question in Angel's mind was if he was trying to figure out how much she knew or just trying to subtly gawk at her legs.
Memo to self: no mini-skirts while on a case.
"Mr. Butler?" Angel asked, opening a drawer.
"What? Ah-hum, I mean, yes, Miss O'Day?"
"Whose work station is this?"
"That would be Rob, Rob Phillips. Anything wrong?"
"There are an awful lot of lottery ticket stubs in here. How does he find anything?"
"Yes, well, Rob likes his games of chance. We mostly just use the drawers for personal items and stuff. All the files are in the cabinet or the computers."
"Interesting," Angel replied. "Thank you, Mr. Butler."
" Uh...Jeremy."
"Jeremy."
Dinnertime, back at the office...
Sam was already back and hard at work, staring at a blank piece of paper and eating a sandwich.
The window was blocked up by a piece of plywood with some plastic taped down to keep the wind out.
"Hey," He muttered, as she walked into the office.
"Hi," She replied, putting a brown paper bag on her desk, then slipping her shoes off. "What've you got?" She asked, nodding towards his sandwich.
"Peanut butter and banana. You?"
"Ben and Jerry's, and no, it's not Chunky Monkey."
"I wasn't going to ask."
The both picked at their food and glanced awkwardly at each other.
"Look, I just...,"Angel and Sam began simultaneously.
"You first," They said again, and smiled.
"Age before beauty," Sam said." I'm sorry, for the way I've been acting today. A couple of things have got me jumping to conclusions about this case and I got so wrapped up in it that...ah... I didn't treat you much like a partner."
"Sam, I..."Angel started.
"It's just I've worked hard to find myself a place in the world," Sam interrupted." So, anything that smacks of Gorilla City sets me off. You think you had it rough with a globe-trotting archeologist Dad and a super hero sister, try being the grandson of a maniac who wants to rule the world."*
( *It was revealed that Grodd is Sam's granddad, and Angel's stepsister is Dumb Bunny of the hero group, Inferior Five in the A+A mini-series by Phil Foglio-Trav)
"Okay, you've got me beat in the dysfunctional family contest," Angel said.
" And I'm sorry that I've been so wrapped up in my problems that you didn't feel you could talk to me. You are your own person, Sam. People don't think of you as the grandson of some evil genius'..."
"Thanks,"
"They think of you as the guy who draws hamsters and women in thongs fighting aliens."
"Well, I feel better," Sam grumbled.
"You are my best friend Sam,' Angel said, coming over and giving her partner a hug.
Sam patted her shoulder awkwardly.
"Does that mean I have to share my sandwich?"
"Why else would I be this nice to you, monkey boy?"
"I draw the line at taking the crust off the bread for you," Sam said, handing her half his sandwich.
" So, where do we go from here?" Angel asked, going back to her desk. She got her note book out of her purse and then peeled the crust off her sandwich." Is there anything to this gorilla lead?"
"Not that I can see," Sam shrugged. "The guys at the B.A.A. labs are checking out the hairs, but it doesn't look like anything but a weird coincidence. What about you?"
"The inside job still seems our best lead. I just wish we could figure out the 'why' of all this."
"We're not to sure about the 'who' or 'how' when you think about it," Sam mentioned.
"True, but I think I've narrowed the 'who' list down. The security team is pretty solid. The lab boys on the other hand are an odd bunch. We've got a gambler..."
"Stealing to cover gambling debts?" Sam muttered, between bites. "Makes sense."
"...And Osland is a jerk...,"
"Not, really the kind of hard evidence I'd want to present to Mr. Nilli," Sam said.
"He is always hovering when I stop by, watching me. I think he's trying to distract me. He knows more then he's telling."
"Or has the hots for you?"
"Don't go there," Angel shuddered." Bad enough that 'Jeremy' is on the verge of asking if he can carry my books home."
"That smooth, huh? What now? It sounds like both our theories have hit a wall."
"Maybe what we need is a new perspective," Angel suggested." Lets try switching theories. You look into the Techno- guys and I'll check out the ape theory. Maybe we are dealing with an... apish super villain?"
"So, your new theory is a super villain with an unusual amount of body hair?" Sam asked. "Can I see your notes?"
Angel passed it to him, along with the last bite of her ice cream. Sam glanced at them thoughtfully for a few moments.
"Hmmm, couple things suggest themselves here," He said.
"Anything, I should check out?"
"If Bobo comes across anything, he said he'd call and the guy is going to be here to fix the window tomorrow at 11 am."
"Sounds like a full day," Angel said, yawning and stretching.
"Yeah, I think I'm going to head home." Sam said, putting away his pencils and pens." Oh, I also have a story conference with my editor and the 'hack'. I'll stop by Techno in the afternoon?"
"Okay, I guess I'll camp out here tomorrow and wait for the window guy. Make some calls. I'll lock up."
"Night, Angel," Sam said on his way out.
"Night, partner,"
Sam, preoccupied with the case, dreading another conference with his editor and relieved that he and Angel were as back to normal as they got, never noticed the maroon Toyota parked at the end of the block.
"That him?" A voice asked.
"How many apes do you think there are strolling around NY?" Another voice, from the back seat, replied sarcastically." Follow him."
"What about the babe?" A third voice asked.
"Take care of Simeon and the girl won't be a problem."
'Ring-ring! Ring- ri...'
"O'Day and Simeon," Angel said, picking up the phone and making a mental note to hire a new receptionist.
"Miss O' Day," A hushed voice asked.
"Yes, who is this?"
"Karl Osland, from Techno-Babel. I need to speak with you."
"Isn't that what you're doing now?" Angel asked, suspiciously.
"I've found something. At the lab. I admit I've been treating you and this whole incident frivolously, but something's very wrong here..."
"Are you at Techno-Babel?"
"Yes, I..."
"Okay, we can be there in about fifteen minutes,"
"I'll be in the research lab."
Angel hung up and grabbed her coat.
"Can you say, 'set up' boys and girls?" She muttered to herself, as she fished her gun out of her purse.
She quickly made sure it had a full clip then picked up the phone and dialed.
"You have reached the home of Sam Simeon," The voice said." I can't come to the..."
"Sam, I know you don't own an answering machine,"
"Oh, Angel. Hi. What's up?"
"I just got a call from Osland. He wants to meet with me tonight..."
"Well, nothing more than holding hands on the first date."
"Shut up, he says he knows something and needs to see me at the lab."
"Did he twirl his mustache and chuckle menacingly?" Sam asked.
"No, but he might as well have. Can you meet me there?"
'Yeah, give me... ten minutes?"
"Great."
Twenty minutes later...
'Where is that big monkey?" Angel muttered, looking at her watch for the umpteenth time." Osland is going to skip out."
She glanced up and down the sidewalk, then shrugged and went into Techno-Babel.
The night guard at the desk let her through.
"I'm expecting my partner," Mr. Simeon," She explained." If you would just send him up."
"Got it."
"Thanks,"
Angel spent the elevator ride thinking up a brilliant plan.
"Guess I'll just wing it." She decided.
The lights were dim on the research level.
Angel nodded to the guard at the reception area and made her way to the lab.
" Mr. Osland?" She said, standing in the doorway. The lab was dark and empty. "Hello? Osland, it's late and I'm not in the mood." She reached around for the light switch.
It clicked, but the room stayed dark. Angel drew her gun out of her purse and stepped into the room.
She stayed close to the workbench as she made her way around the room.
"What else can go wrong today?" She muttered, right before she tripped over Osland's body.
"Damn!" she exclaimed at both the grisly discovery and the fact that she broke the heel on her shoe.
He was slumped against the file cabinet, the front of his shirt was slick with blood.
"Heart shot," Angel muttered, her brain racing." Had to be close range, he's got powder burns on his shirt."
She peered around the body absorbing every detail she could.
Except the security camera in the corner. It had been dark when she'd entered the room. Suddenly a red light on its side flickered on.
Angel tucked her gun into her coat pocket and kneeled down.
Lying next to Osland was a manila folder.
"Empty. What did you want to show me, Osland? Even dead you are going to annoy me."
Angel caught a bit of movement out of the corner of her eye and turned just as the figure in the doorway fired....
Author's notes:
This all started out as a bit of a joke...
Blame my wife, she's the one who said: "If you don't like that story, stop ranting and write your own."
Howard Chaykin deserves some of the credit too. If his vertigo A+A mini hadn't been so unspeakably, painfully, mind numbingly bad and unfunny...
Can't forget Phil Foglio, who in the early nineties tried to single-handedly bring back DC's humor titles. My story is set a bit after Phil's.
I'm hoping to use Brave and Bold to do some stories that are a break from traditional super hero stuff. I get my hero fix with the Doom Patrol. (subtle plug)
So, look for more historical adventure, PI's and second string characters that deserve some time in the spotlight.